Basic POS E30 — the Official Definition

When I’m selling you a POS E30, this is what version 1.00 of the “basic POS” definition entails. (Published on 12/19/2913, 11:22 a.m.)

As to the drive train:

Missing from the car are certainly …

  • Radiator and hoses
  • Oil cooler
  • Coolant hoses in the engine compartment
  • Fuel hoses on the engine side of the metal lines
  • Engine wiring harness
  • ECU
  • Battery
  • Power steering pump and bottle
  • Engine with everything on it
  • Transmission
  • Clutch
  • Bell housing
  • Torque converter
  • Shift lever and mechanism
  • Drive shaft and guibos
  • Exhaust manifold, downpipe, o2 sensor, exhaust, cat, muffler
  • Fuel pumps

Included are, in case you were wondering:

  • A/C condensor
  • A/C compressor
  • A/C electric front fan
  • Lower subframe
  • Steering rack
  • Front suspension
  • Brakes including lines and booster
  • Relays on side of firewall
  • Fuse box
  • Clutch pedal and master cylinder (if stick shift)
  • Rear suspension
  • Throttle cables
  • Throttle
  • Wheels with tires
  • Fuel lines
  • Fuel tank

As to the interior:

Missing from the car are certainly …

  • Seats
  • Door cards
  • Side panel on 2-door models
  • Speakers if premium
  • Sound system
  • Dash panel below steering wheel
  • Window switches
  • Rear center ashtray
  • Glove box and latch
  • Sports steering wheel
  • New-style bumpers
  • Tool kit contents
  • Jack
  • Lug wrench

Included are, in case you were wondering:

  • Dashboard
  • Center front console and HVAC behind it
  • Center floor console
  • Instrument panel
  • Steering wheel if not sports
  • Pedals, pedal box
  • Steering column and stalks
  • Doors with internals that make them open and close the door and the windows
  • Door and trunk locks
  • Headliner including sunroof
  • Glass
  • Tool kit container
  • Main carpet
  • Kick pad carpets
  • Trunk carpet
  • Hood sound deadening
  • Speakers if standard

As to the exterior:

Missing from the car are certainly …

  • All bumpers if new-style plastic
  • Center grille
  • Tail lights and bases
  • Low-beam headlights if “angel eyes”
  • Front valance
  • Main splash guard

Included are, in case you were wondering:

  • All bumpers if old-style metal
  • All body panels including sunroof
  • Side front grille
  • High-beam headlights
  • Low-beam headlights if not “angel eyes”
  • Side impact strips

Software Analogy for Why I Made A Formal Standard for POS E30s

If you’re curious about what I’m trying to accomplish, please read this.

When I’m not working on old BMWs, much of my professional time is spent doing custom database software engineering.

Much of the latter involves signing up for various software-related services. It’s a huge pain in the ass to wade through all the fine print in the terms and conditions of the various offering. I skim and read fast, but I suspect most people just gloss over it and sign. And sometimes, they get screwed over.

NOW you know why they call it CYA

Problem is, some agreements are way unreasonable. There are sometimes actual bad consequences to signing them. Judges tend to rule against the party who says “I didn’t read it, I just signed it.”

For example, I once walked away from a $170-an-hour, 40-hours-per-week gig because the hiring company, Yahoo!, included in their hiring agreement that from then on until the day I die, whether I work for them or not, they henceforth own the intellectual property rights to anything I will from then on create. Wait, what? WTF? No. Hell, no.

It would be SO nice to have a common-sense, plain-English, reasonable agreement that people can read once and then simply refer to. It’s such a good idea that I made one. It’s the Precision Quality Software Standard Agreement. I made it. People like it.

For the E30

This of course, logically leads me to the concept of a POS E30.

The “PO” stands for “Piece of” and the “S” stands for the sort of thing you can buy as fertilizer.

I sometimes come across old E30 cars that have high-value parts and it makes sense for me to yank out the lovely M20B25 engine, the 5-speed transmission, the sports seats, the glovebox, and the other things I can sell so fast that I almost feel giddy.

Legal BS Comment: In the process, I face some legal hurdles too even though these cars would have a clean, signed-off title in my possession. For now, let’s not focus on those. I’ll just say I make special agreements with formal wrecking yards and auto repair businesses, and that helps the legality. For example, I can’t just legally vent freon into the atmosphere, so I have a deal with a local auto repair business by which I can bring them a car and they officially remove the freon.

After all that, I have an E30 car that’s missing many parts, and yet its body shell is typically rust-free, and I don’t really know what to do with it. Not to disrespect the E30, but the car probably in that state deserves a designation as … a POS E30.

Who Would Want One?

Someone fearless might then buy such an E30 and stick into it the cool drivetrain they always wanted anyway, e.g., an M30 or M42 motor and a stick shift transmission.

For such a buyer, the absence of the drivetrain isn’t an issue because they were going to throw the old one out anyway. I just saved them some time.

As to the missing interior, they had some sexy special seats in mind anyway, and I basically saved them some labor and a trip to the dump, as to the old E30 standard seats.

The missing other parts, they’re not worried about. They’ll replace them somehow.

That’s the sort of buyer I’d like to attract. People like that tend to be young, fearless and impatient.

Q&A Wastes Time

Buyers really don’t wanna go through a list of 100 questions as to what’s included in the car vs. not.

Yet, it makes a difference whether, for example, the drive shaft is included or not. So, to save everyone time, I’m coming up with a standard that will define a POS E30.

Then, we can all just refer to that, and if there are deviations from it, we can spend 3 minutes focusing on that as opposed to 30 minutes discussing everything that might be included vs. not.

That’s the basic plan, anyway.

What’s in it for me?

If I succeed then the world beats a path to my door and my website gets lots of traffic and, hey, did I mention that I sell E30 used parts?

Dialog to Show Why I Made a New Standard for POS E30s

You’re into POS E30 cars. You’re impatient. Great! I wrote this for you — to save you time.

Example Dialog to Explain

Via Facebook or email:

“Hi, I’m selling a POS E30. I pulled the motor and tranny.”
“Awesome. How much?”
“$400 cash, you haul. Address is 123 Elm Street, Anytown, NV 12345”

… and then, in person:

“Dude, where’s the radiator?”
“Dude, I pulled it as part of pulling the engine.”
“Well, can I have it?”
“Gone. Sold it!”
“And the drive shaft? Wait, the exhaust is gone too.”
“Well, duh …”
“The glove box is missing too.”
“To get the ECU out, that made it easier.”
“Wait, not ECU either?”
“Well, it was part of the wiring harness when I sold it.”
“Wait, that’s not included either?!”
“Dude, don’t whine. Go to Pick N Pull and go buy one.”
“Yabbut I just spent 2 hours arranging a trailer and driving here and not half the stuff I assumed would be there, ain’t”
“Sucks to be you. You know what they say about ‘assume'”

Wanna avoid this? Read on.